Cough
Your mouth was sliced open by a terrible cough.
You've heard of a hacking cough, right? Well, this is worse. It's a slicing cough, and it's sliced right through your mouth, too. Imagine it flapping around while you cough.
がい
せき
None
Oddly enough, some people find your cough sexy (せき).
That slicing cough opened up a nice gravelly, sexy voice. Between coughs, you start noticing all the looks you're getting. You realize your cough is making you really sexy to all the people around you. Cough cough cough.